If you’ve worked in an industry where you deal directly with clients, particularly one on the web, you’ll know exactly what I mean when I say Clients from Hell. Working with clients can be both amazing and awful, depending on how good you are at choosing the right client. In order to do that, you need to get good at establishing boundaries and you need to learn when to say no. A big part of my job at FAT Media involves talking to clients, setting project scopes, and making sure everyone involved in the project is on the same page.
Relationships with clients from Hell start out like any other type of relationship. You’re both excited to be together and everyone is full of happy feelings. It usually goes smooth for a week or two, but before too long you start to feel like you have a lunatic ex-girlfriend who stalks you. You start wondering what in the cosmos has caused you to deserve this. Sometimes it even makes you think “Hey, I do deserve this! I will take it and I will like it!!”
Newsflash: You Don’t Deserve It and You Don’t Have To Put Up With It
In the past, when potential clients contacted us we went through the usual song and dance that you’re probably familiar with. What’s the project, what’s your budget, and what are your goals? From there we would set the scope and get the paperwork taken care of. Once that was handled, everyone shook hands and we got down to business. This is how we’ve been doing business for years and most of the time everything works out great. Unfortunately, sometimes… things don’t work out so great.
If you haven’t experienced the fallout of a bad client relationship, consider yourself lucky. It’s not fun and it can seriously damage your reputation. In order to avoid these hellish client relationships, we’ve come up with a a system to make sure everyone will work well together. If someone doesn’t pass our test, regardless of their budget, it’s a deal-breaker. This system has worked pretty well for us thus far, so I’d like to share it with you and see what you think. Here’s how we do things:
Five Steps to Avoid Clients from Hell
Step One: Stalk Them on Twitter
I like to start with Twitter by doing a quick review of their feed history. You should keep an open mind while doing this because we all have bad days. However, if every other tweet is about how stupid someone is, or how their bank is plotting to kill them, you need to proceed with caution. Extreme caution.
Have they gone through six developers in four months, but its not their fault? Is their feed peppered with a lot of sexist, racist, or outright insane comments? Is there an obvious pattern of complaining and passing the buck? These are huge red flags and if you’re getting a bad feeling at this point, you should probably run. Fast. On the other hand, if everything seems alright on Twitter, you can safely proceed to…
Step Two: Check the References They Gave You
What? They refused to provide references or claim they don’t have anyone’s number? If faced with this I would not work with them. There is a good reason they do not want you contacting their old developer or designer. It may have been they clashed over something silly, or they refused to pay and are hiding from them. So be weary of this as its not a good sign. Honesty is the best policy. Just ask Mom, she knows.
Step Three: Voice Chat on Skype or Over the Phone
If the first time you talk to them on the phone, you get a horrible feeling in your stomach, run as fast as you can. You know in your heart this isn’t going to end well. Just because you have had a conversation doesn’t mean you have to work with them. You always need to trust your instincts and taking to someone over the phone will give you a much better read of their personality than you can ever get via email or text chat.
Step Four: Use the Google
I’m sure you know how to use Google by now. If not, let me help you out. Do a simple background search on your potential client. Pop their name, business name, and anything else you can think of in that lovely search bar and see what turns up. Sometimes we even use background checking services such as Spokeo and BeenVerified. It might sound a little crazy, but you’d be really surprised what a quick background check can turn up about people. One client we avoided this way had a pretty interesting arrest record, but you would have never guessed it without a background check.
Step Five: Have Coffee (In a Public Place) if You Can
If they’ve passed all your other tests and you’re almost positive you’re going to work together, a face-to-face meeting can help seal the deal. Coffee is a delicious treat for most of us and a great excuse to have a quick face-to-face meeting. Set up a meeting in a safe place, order a coffee (or tea, if you’re so inclined), and see how they treat the people around them.
Are they rude to a poor barista because they didn’t put the right amount of foam on top? Do they flip their wig over a noisy toddler at the next table? Do they just not mesh well with your personality or your business goals? If they scream over too much milk foam on a $4 cup of coffee, how do you think they’ll react when a $4,000 design isn’t using the right shade of chartreuse? Now is your last chance to get out, so be sure everything is in order before you sign on the dotted line.
Remember, It’s Your Call – Not Theirs
I enjoy my job because everyone we work with prides themselves on being good people who do things with integrity. Sadly, doing things the right way can be extremely difficult sometimes. During the past year, I have been pushed to the limits of acceptable human behavior by some of the people we have worked with. Before implementing this system, we had a number of clients who were under the impression that hiring us meant they owned us. I don’t know about where you work, but that nonsense doesn’t fly around here .
“Pre-Stalking” Can Be a Positive Thing Too!
An upside of some light internet stalking is that you may discover that your potential client is super awesome! If that’s the case, you’ll feel blessed to have the chance to work with such an amazing person or company. Plus, you might even have some good ideas for gifts to get them after the project, seeing as you know them so well now. 
No matter what the outcome, or how you screen clients, you must protect yourself by doing research. You are essentially letting these people in your life, even if is just through a computer screen. You wouldn’t let a stranger in your home without some background info, so why would you do it online? Our friend Chris Lema puts it very well when he says Business is Personal. Everyone you work with should be your friend. If you don’t like them, don’t work with them, period!
So, those are our tips for avoiding clients from Hell! I hope they’re useful to you. If you have anything to add or want to share your own experiences, please do so in the comments bellow or send me a Tweet!
